Seven Years Ago Today

We still had hope. We had hope for a few more holidays and a few more months. Seven years ago today we celebrated the last holiday we ever would with my mom, Easter.
Brad, Riley, Emi, and I stayed in a hotel while mom was in the hospital. We awoke that morning to squeals of delight from Riley. The Easter bunny had come and left her a scooter in the bathtub. She couldn't wait to go show Grandma Mary.
We went to Mass in Edmond and after that went straight to the hospital. I am sure the nurses at Mercy were just "thrilled" when a 3 Year old came zipping down the hall on her Disney Princess scooter. We didn't care in the least bit because the moment my mom saw her she laughed so hard.
I remember walking in the room and my sisters little girl sitting on the bed blowing bubbles with Maw Maw, and just laughing so hard. By this point my mom’s skin was turning yellow, but we still had hope. Mom was scheduled to take a chemo in the morning. We all disagreed, but agreed with the fact that it was her fight. If she wanted chemo give her chemo.
So as I reflect back on this day seven years ago I can't help but smile. She loved all of us more than anything. Her desire to fight was unbelievable. She really did fight until the end. I miss her everyday.....

This Year I Choose.....

This year as I walk I will do so much different :). I promise to enjoy the whole process and not just search for the next mile marker or finish line. This year as I walk I promise to smile and laugh more. There are so many people there that are true characters, and you can't help but giggle. This year I promise to look around me and appreciate EACH person that is there. This year I promise to high five a lot more, and feel self conscious a LOT LESS. This year I will take pictures from the beginning until the end. This year I promise to cry more (is that possible) and enjoy every moment. God only gives us so many days on this earth. It is our job to do with those days what we will. I choose to battle the disease that took my beautiful, amazing, and wonderful mother. I choose to make a difference in the world of breast cancer. I choose to walk to help find a cure.

One More day

If only there was one more day. All the things I would say and do. I would be the best daughter ever and make sure you knew how much I loved you. There would be no fights. It would only be fun. My girls would bring in flowers and bubbles. We would laugh so hard we'd pee ourselves. We would talk about the past and the future. I would assure you daddy would be ok and you would promise me you would always look after me. I would tell you it was OK to go and promise you that everything would be ok. One more day and I would get to tell you everything instead of praying about it every night. One more day to say I love you. I miss you everyday. You were my mommy and always will be.

I know not all the words are right with this song but it helps me
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day